omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
