That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
