I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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