I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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