dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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