"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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