just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
