What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
