I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
