Sry I called you an 8
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Let's get the cat blown out
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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