White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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