She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
