Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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