next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
