I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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