So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
sarcasm needs its own font
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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