Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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