that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
