i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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