Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
