you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
