its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
