my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
