get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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