I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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