I wanna bring you to show and tell
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
