Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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