I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
