I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
