I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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