Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
