that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The best revenge is premature balding
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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