Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
