Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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