She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize