He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
