hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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