Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
