I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is the high leading the old right now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
