that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
