Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
