We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
