Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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