my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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