He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
