I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
