I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
