But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You did what with his pubic hair?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
