He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
