Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
