the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
