if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
