remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
