I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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