drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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