i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
