You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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