Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
